I just made out with a guy for $7.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
