I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Randomize