I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
