It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
