come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
