I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
