Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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