I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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