Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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