I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
