There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
