We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize