i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
