when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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