I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
