He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
