it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
