quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
