I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
