apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
