last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
