FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
