spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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