My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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