the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
