since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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