I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i came on her dog
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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