Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
