I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
