You don't have asthma, your pregnant
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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