Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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