I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
