Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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