i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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