Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
