i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
