is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
