TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
