I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
did i just pee glitter
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
