I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
