There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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