hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
