im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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