I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
