Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
