Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize