walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
