my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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