It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
