if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
