I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
