what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize