hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
