So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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