Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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