And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
