My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
