haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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