are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
